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Well Meaning Husbands

Posted on October 25, 2007
Ladies, Most of us guys truly desire to be good husbands. We feel rotten that we're often not.

Part of the problem is that we're all inherently self-serving (Galatians 5:16-17). Another reason is that we men are often pretty near clueless about what our wives (or girlfriends) need from us.

Self-serving? We can hardly help it with all the enticing distractions around us:

  • The pressure of job success to prove ourselves.
  • Unrelenting media images of hot scantily clad babes with a come hither-look.
  • Here in Kentucky, college basketball, fishing, hunting, golf, etc.
Clueless? Honestly, we often don't know specifically what you need. Ladies, you think we intuitively (what's that?) ought to know, but relationally we're just pretty clumsy, about like comic Chevy Chase is with his physical movements.

Here are two partial solutions:
  1. First, my fellow bros, understand that our wives deserve more than our left-over crumbs. So, allow substantial time for them. (Keep in mind the substantial pay-offs in the T.L.C. department that every man craves.)
  2. Secondly, ladies, we need you to spell out your needs. Prioritize them. Don't hand us a laundry list. Start with one or two that are really, really important to you. Then gently and tactfully inform us at a time when things are good and calm between us, when neither of us is exhausted or already uptight.
If you need to be touched non-sexually. If you need the garbage taken out by bedtime. If you need help with the kids' homework. Whatever it is, be precise. Remember we need specifics.

Believe it or not, most of us guys love to please our wives. We're just inept at reading your minds. But we deep-down desire to be men who win with our wives.

Download the mp3 of my 8 minute radio show, To Understand Your Needs - Her Needs, for more clues on trying to figure out our wives.

Click: Better Marriages

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