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Low Libido Man

Posted on November 20, 2007

A man who doesn't have much crank sexually? 

Most Christian guys are trying to control unhealthy sexual urges and influences.  But what about the husband who's not meeting his wife's sexual needs

(1 Cor 7:3-5)?   It could be more common than we might think.

Why is it that hardly anyone discusses the man with low libido?  One reason is that it seems unmanly if a guy isn't rived up on demand.  Another reason is a woman might think herself abnormal to have more sexual drive than her man.  She might even self-doubt her femininity and sexual attractiveness.

From what I observe, and at times have personally experienced, a variety of things can diminish a man's sexual drive:
  • A biological lack of testosterone
  • High blood pressure and other meds
  • Grieving over a severe loss - a person, job, or health.  
  • A porn and masturbation habit
  • An overbearing wife who doesn't show him proper respect
  • Prolonged extreme job stress
  • A rupture of emotional intimacy with his wife (Read this week's blog)
  • Past emotional wounds of childhood

Let's not forget that it is possible, although probably not common, that a wife biologically could have more sex drive than her husband.  In this case, two believers who regularly and persistently come together in prayer about the issue will eventually be shown a beautiful, mutually satisfying solution.  This may sound overly simplistic, but it's the way God works.  He's faithful (Matthew 18:19-20)

God somehow, someway provides an answer that is tailor-made to an individual couple.  After all, we know from his Word that he's high on sex as pure enjoyment (Song of Songs chap 3-5), not just for procreation.  He pre-wired us to have sexual desire for our soul mate.

God is always faithful to dispense wisdom (James 1:1-8).  His Word guarantees it.  So why wouldn't a husband and wife, who naturally desiring sexual enjoyment, together ask him and expect a divine solution?  A man who wins discovers the faithfulness of God.

To get you started on the road to a great relationship with your spouse, a great read is Gary Chapman's book. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

Also click Honesty Leads to More Sex  an 8 minute MP3 download of my Men Who Win radio show.


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