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UMAMERICAN - REAL MASCULINE FRIENDSHIPS

Posted on February 21, 2008
Imagine yourself hiking solo in a mountain forest on a harsh wintry evening.  You realize you're lost.  You reach for your compass.  Oops, you left it behind at the house.  Night is drawing near.  Fear starts to set in.  Now what?  You're isolated and disconnected.  You desperately wish you had help.  Well, that's a man in life without rock solid, masculine friendships. 
 
If you're like most men, you don't have a real friend.  Oh yeah, you have regular male acquaintances, but that's all they usually are - acquaintances that you just happen to interact with frequently.  You most likely don't have a bud(s) with whom you can be soulish and reveal your hearts of hearts, to allow him to ask you the hard questions of life, and vice versa? 
 
Real, genuine masculine friendships are un-American.  Our culture has taught us to suspiciously view other males primarily as competitors.  After all, neither Rambo, Dirty Harry, nor The Terminator from the movies ever really needed a friend, except for a nine mm pistol or an AK-47.  (Read about my own ignorant, go-it-alone M.O. that took me down in flames when I cranked up a business in Augusta, Georgia.  Blog)
 
Ray Kroc of the McDonald's fast food empire summed up today's prevailing go-it-alone attitude:
This is rat eat rat.  Dog eat dog.  I'll kill 'em, and I'm going to kill 'em before they kill me.  You're talking about the American way of survival of the fittest. 
 
You've got to hand it to the hamburger king.  Kroc made meca moulah and a huge name for himself.  No one can deny him that, but was Kroc's theory just a crock if you consider life's true purpose and  uncrushable inner, deep peace of mind?  Someone once said the trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat. 
 
Jesus viewed success-at-any-cost in a radically opposite way.  He asked just how valuable is it to gain the whole world but in the process lose your own life and soul (Matthew 16:24-26)?  A man who wins cannot afford to miss this ultimate truth of all truths.
 
This newsletter is part of the chapter, A Friend a Man Can Call at 2AM -- from my book Save the Males which you can download free.  In this chapter, I address questions about how to form a band of brothers.  i.e.  how to go about identifying a potential accountability brother; how to establish trust; and how to get beyond the fear of being real and transparent.
 
Check and download free any of my 27 eight minute radio shows about the various aspects of forming your own band of brothers and accountability friendships.


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