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The Lifetime Impact of Your Dad

Posted on January 17, 2008
How a father handles a boy's heart impacts his life all his years.
If you have a serious father wound (as John Eldredge calls it), you're living the consequences of it every day.  A father wound is when you didn't get what you needed from your Dad growing up.  Specifically, his loving, affirming approval of you.
Even Jesus needed his Father's affirmation.  God said about his son, This is my son whom I love, and with whom I am well pleased.  This blessing was so crucial that the Bible cites it four times in the New Testament.
Most of us guys, however, didn't get this blessing from our dads.  It's not necessarily that they didn't love us.  It's more likely they didn't get it either from their dads and consequently didn't pass it on down to us.  In my case, I know that my Dad loved me but didn't perceive he liked me (read my blog on him).
In a conference of nearly 200 men I attended, the question was asked, if you as a boy received unequivocal loving and affirming affirmation from your father, raise your hand.  Sadly, only 13 hands went up.
But our masculinity - who we are as men -- rests on the affirmation from him or at least another male(s).  We can't get it from Mom, girlfriend, or wife.  If we didn get it from our dad, we're driven to get it somehow, someway:  Sports!  Sex!  Jobs!  Money!  (Read The One a Man Can't Bear to Fail from my book Save the Males)
Now the good news.   Through Jesus Christ's redemption of us, God provides the affirmation we so desperately need (Psalm 68:5a).  God does this through:
  • The supernatural healing our emotions
  • The truths of his sure and true Word (the Bible)
  • A few close friends who stick with us tighter than brothers (Proverbs 18:24). 
Through Christ, we are men who win.
Hear these two 8 minute radio shows from
Effects of Not Confronting Wounds from your Father  (Part One) and (Part Two)

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