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Posted on May 22, 2008
GOT ANGER?  NEED MILK STRATEGIES? Pt 2   (Here are the final two strategies for anger control.  I talked about the first three in my 5/08/08 Men Who Win newsletter.)   Got anger?  Is it damaging your relationships with those you dearly love?  Need milk strategies?   Here are two of five strategies that will help transform how you react to anger triggers. For the first three strategies, click here.  These strategies have worked for two of three of us guys who went through an anger workbook together, but it didn't for the third guy.  Read why. Read my blog)   We first have to recognize how absolutely little control we have on how other people think and act.  We're extraordinarily limited - limited beyond our imagination.  On a scale of 1 to 10, we can effect change in another adult perhaps right at about a half point.  For all practical purposes, that's zip.    We have to accept our boundaries if we're to get a handle on anger.  No matter how brilliant or persuasive we may be, or think we are, it is futile to attempt to push our preferences on others.  It only makes us tense, stressed....and angry.   Want to reshape a spouse or close loved one more to your liking?  Forget it.  Give up the dream the world can and should fit your or my personal preferences.  It ain't gonna happen.  Always remember that only Christ can effect heart change (Philippians 2:13).   Now the final two of the five strategies.  I've condensed them from a book** by Les Carter and Frank Minirth.  Beware: these strategies are tough to swallow.  But if you get them down, you'll have so much more peace and serenity.  Guaranteed.   4)  Accept that no one is required to meet your needs although it is perfectly okay for you to express them (Philippians 4:19).   5)  Accept that pain is going to exist in your life.  This is no teddy bear existence we're enduring on the planet   No amount of wishing is going to make our pain go away (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).  (But this doesn't mean we can't have alot of fun at times and enjoy ourselves despite the pain -but that's a topic for another newsletter)   These tactics are tough to swallow, uh?  They go against the grain.  Sorry, but we're truly that limited.  And not to make these strategies our own is merely playing the part of a fool (Proverbs 29:11). A man who wins isn't a fool.   I'm, of course, referring to the self-serving anger of the flesh in this newsletter, not the kind that is righteous.  The righteous kind will have to be the subject of a future newsletter.   Now, I'd like to get your tip(s) on how you've personally learned to control your own anger.   A question: What do you do about hurt and unforgiveness when someone has devastatingly hurt you?  Is it possible to forgive and let that anger go?  Why won't you even want to?  Listen to my 8 minute radio show.   What about the person who appears pleasant and nice on the outside - who rarely displays outward anger -- is it possible that person could be deeply angry inside?  Listen to my 8 minute radio show.   **The fabulous little book that God's used to help me, and that will help you -- provided you desperately want help -- is The Anger Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth.    

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