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Posted on May 8, 2008
Got anger?  Is it damaging your relationships with those you dearly love?  Need milk strategies?
Here are five strategies - three in this newsletter and two in the next one -- that will transform how you react to anger triggers.  (These strategies have worked for your fellow son-of-thunder here. Read my blog)
We first have to recognize how absolutely little control we have on how other people think and act.  We're extraordinarily limited - limited beyond our imagination.  On a scale of 1 to 10, we can effect change in another adult perhaps right at about a half point.  For all practical purposes, that's zip. 
We have to accept our boundaries if we're to get a handle on anger.  No matter how brilliant or persuasive we may be, or think we are, it is futile to attempt to push our preferences on others.  It only makes us tense, stressed....and angry.
Want to reshape a spouse or close loved one more to your liking?  Forget it.  Give up the dream the world can and should fit your or my personal preferences.  It ain't gonna happen.  Never fail to remember only Christ can effect heart change (Philippians 2:13).
Now three of five strategies.  I've paraphrased them from a book** by Les Carter and Frank Minirth.  Beware: these strategies are tough to swallow.  But if you get them down, you'll have so much more peace and serenity.  Guaranteed.
1)  Accept that many people, including your spouse and close loved ones, will differ from you in preferences and opinions (2 Timothy 2:23).  (Read my blog about how I'm personally learning to grasp this truth)
2)  It is not your place to criticize when someone screws up (Matthew 7:1-5).
3)  Keep your advice to yourself when you know it is really unwanted (Matthew 7:1-5).  To really be on the safe side, give it only when you're specifically asked.
These tactics are tough to swallow, uh?  They go against the grain.  Sorry, but we're truly that limited.  And not to make these strategies our own is merely playing the part of a fool (Proverbs 29:11). A man who wins isn't a fool.
Now, I'd like to get your tip(s) on how you've personally learned to control your own anger.
A question: What do you do about hurt and unforgiveness when someone has devastatingly hurt you?  Is it possible to forgive and let that anger go?  Why won't you even want to?  Listen to my 8 minute radio show.
What about the person who appears calm and nice on the outside - who rarely displays outward anger -- is it possible that person could be a deeply angry individual inside?  Listen to my 8 minute radio show.
**The fabulous little book     that God's used to help me, and that will help you -- provided you desperately want help -- is The Anger Workbook by Les Carter and Frank Minirth.

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